Thank you Pope Benedict

Benedetto

A very gentle person, an extremely cultured scholar. Passionate about beautiful music, he said “to sing is almost flying”. Above all, he loved Jesus Christ and his church, as he reminded us with his last, moving, words in our world.

He also liked cats.

He was a clear and sure reference point, despite the never seen and delicate situation that he himself contributed to determine, for reasons that are unknown.

I am sorry that he left us and yet I am certain that he is now with the saints and that from there he can still help us navigate this fog.

Thank you Pope Benedict.

January, 5th 2023

Eve dream. Chapter two. Halved – part three

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Picture by Beth Hokhmah, found here

Eve dream first episode (Lilith part one)

Previous episode (Halved part two)

 

2 Halved – part three

Eve was naked.
Eve found herself naked and fragile.
Weak.
Eve blushed with shame, also for this.
Eva blushed, ashamed of herself, prey to an immense remorse.

It was thus. So, the Woman felt her need to somehow shelter from her malice, or at least to distract herself from it; she therefore gathered flexible sedge leaves around her, intertwined them in a sort of loose and bottomless basket and with it she encircled her pelvis and what she herself had profaned first.
She tied the interweaved sedges around her waist, above her hips, to cover her nakedness: as a matter of fact, if she looked at her groin, she felt stir into her intimate the excitement and lust of the Serpent and of her own obscene, unspeakable parody: Lilith.
As she was prey to an almost unbearable melancholy, she resumed wandering around the garden. She knew the abundance of her tears.

The cursed voice, however, did not abandon her and gave her no respite. At this point, almost hissing, she insisted on putting forward her thesis: “Now you are finally free. Now you know. Now you have seen and heard and experienced an ecstasy that you never even imagined existed. Now you know yourself and you know you are enough for yourself. You know you can be enough for yourself. The deception of the Creator has been exposed. Now you are finally one, black and white together. Light and Shadow. Eve and Lilith. Now you are whole. Now you know that I am your true creator. Now you will adore me”.
Whole…
Whole!
How unbearably false all this was!
Despite the insinuating and insistent hisses of the Snake, the Woman clearly perceived the exact opposite. The sensation of having been drastically reduced, diminished, halved was so acute that it made her pant, till it painted her chest.
She had gained nothing, but on top of that she had lost a lot. First of all, she had forever ruined and abandoned the purity of the gaze, the peace of her heart, the crystalline clarity of the perception of oneself, of the Mankind, of the whole Universe.
Moreover, now it would have been much more difficult to identify the direction of Time and the Meaning of things.
Each path, each way would have cost pain and error.
She had generated the fatigue of existing.
Her solidity faded.
By doubling and acquiescing to the worst of herself to exist without any control, not being able and unwilling in any case to become her own evil and destructive Shadow, she had in fact halved.
We could already see in it the tangible, sad and terrible possibility of taking advantage of Man and others who would come to seek one’s own satisfaction. To plunder nature for one’s own benefit. To feel hatred and resentment whenever others opposed their own lives and needs to the total self-fulfillment and satisfaction.

Eve therefore knew the most terrible aspect of freedom: the rejection of the Good. The rejection of the Beauty. She had rejected the truth of herself, the truth of the whole world.

She had rejected the Truth.
Innocence was lost.
Eve had confused Love with the instinct of the flesh.
She had disrupted her own being, exchanging the total gift of herself with the demand of satisfaction.
Sin had imbued humanity.
Sin had imbued humanity to its deepest roots.
Everything was about to change.
Everything had changed, perhaps forever.

No, not forever. Only for a long time, for millennia, until Mary, the New Woman, appeared.
The real woman.
The Immaculate Conception.
The one who would collaborate in the salvation of the Seconds.
She who would have had countless titles, countless attributes.

No, not forever. Just for a long time, for millennia, until the New Woman would appear. The real Woman. Mary.
She, the Immaculate Conception.
The one who would help to save the Seconds.
She who would have countless titles, countless attributes.
Because, there! The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son.
לָכֵן יִתֵּן אֲדֹנָי הוּא לָכֶם אוֹת הִנֵּה הָעַלְמָה הָרָה וְיֹלֶדֶת בֵּן וְקָרָאת שְׁמוֹ עִמָּנוּאֵל

The little girl, a little girl.
A poor ignorant young woman.
The wisest of all humanity and not only so: the Queen of Angels.
Sedes sapiéntiae, Regína angelórum.
The little girl who would be the Refuge of Sinners.
Refugium peccatórum.
The source and seat of wisdom.
Sedes sapiéntiae.
The Mirror of His holiness.
Speculum iustitiae.
The Cause of our joy.
Cáusa nóstrae laetítiae.
The Gate of Heaven.
Iánua cáeli
The Morning Star.
Stella matutina.
The Queen of Angels!
Regina angelórum.

She, who would have made redemption possible, even generating the Son of Him.

The Son, who would descend among men, into the world.
The Son, who would once again show Love, Good, Beauty.
The One who would restore the path to salvation.
Thus, in the fullness of time, the True Woman would suffer her unspeakable pain close to her Son, the Son of Man, the Son of God.

She would have seen the Son, her son, to be erected upright like a criminal, like an outcast, but she would have understood that in such abjection the poor bones of Adam would once again have been elevated toward the sky. The earth, putrid by sin, the earth that smelled of death and shame would be lifted once again and definitively even beyond Eden, towards Heaven.

Because, there! An incurable enmity arises between the Woman and the Serpent, between the progeny of the Woman and the progeny of the Serpent.
And the Serpent will attack the heels of the Woman’s lineage.
And the seed of Men will bruise the head of the Serpent.

All the Seconds would have a new chance, yet Eve didn’t know that this would happen.

Thus, the Woman fell to her knees on the peaty ground and, quite unusual, she injured herself by hitting a hard, sharp stone. Drops of red blood dyed the grass in Eden for the first time. Evil generated pain. She collapsed, trembling with shame, remorse and fear, hiding her face in her hands, wincing in violent and inconsolable sobs.

 

(to be continued)

Partial Italian version here

 

Eve dream. Chapter two. Halved – part two

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Picture by Beth Hokhmah, found here

Before to continue, I absolutely need to thank again my friend Shyla; when I asked her to critically read and review my translation into English of this “Eve dream”, I did not expect the enthusiasm, passion and precision that my poor words are benefiting from her work. Thank you Shyla!

Eve dream first episode (Lilith part one)

Previous episode (Halved part one)

 

2 Halved – part two

The Woman did not yet know the inebriation given by the fermented juices of the grapevine, however we can say that she felt something similar to the ailment that so often follows with such inebriation. As each moment passed away, in addition to the recovery of awareness, a strange malaise increased: a malaise due to the perception that something wrong, definitely wrong had happened: an abomination arose.

She had not yet given her body to the Man. She either did not know the existence of such a possibility, even not knowing that such a possibility was a source of joy.  She, placed in front of herself and only herself, doubled as she was in front of a mirror, she had freed her Shadow, a dark and evil being who populated his unconscious; she had begotten or, rather, freed, Lilith. She had become Lilith herself and therefore she had enjoyed herself in solitude, she had generated and loved her own dark and perverse side and she was delighted in it, in an unhealthy solipsistic idyll that cried out against Heaven: “I am enough!“.

This had happened almost unconsciously or, better, without her being fully aware of it, cheated by the Enemy, by the Ancient Serpent which at this point she identified and recognized with absolute certainty. However, his own weakness and the absence of full awareness, took very little away from the crime committed, which remained so and – now she knew it – would remain for a long time, would remain forever, would have gone through all the passing of time and would have reached the end of time itself, until the end of the time given to her and to all her offspring. Until the last twilight of Men and Women. She had damned not only herself, but her entire lineage, upsetting it irremediably. She had started an almost infinite chain of crimes, of oppressions, of pretensions, of presumptions, up to the most horrendous wars. All this, in fact, presupposed the reference to a supposed absolute freedom that identified the other not in the beloved, but in the adversary.

 

She had succumbed to a bestial impulse, to an instinctive one, to an unreasonable one, which had degraded love to simple pleasure. Moreover, there was something even worse and perhaps more serious: this drive had involved only herself, in an impetus of onanism, in a fit of selfish hedonism, to a further betrayal of love which is always the absolute opposite: relationship with diversity, relationship with other by herself. Gift of herself to others. Gift of herself to Other.

 

Albeit on a smaller scale and in detail, the malign essence of the rising of the Shadow traced what had already happened with Lucifer in the implementation of his rebellion. The fall of Lucifer, which had already corrupted multitudes of angels, now also dragged the mankind away from the Creator, away from the Reason of everything. Away from God.

 

The alternative plan continued, following the desire to kill Love.

To deny the Reality.

To convince himself and convince others that it was possible to do better: here is the temptation.

Once again, He had allowed it, because He respected free will to the highest degree.

Because He loved Men, just as he loved the Firsts, the Angels, among which Lucifer himself had been a part.

Because He is immensity of Love.

Because He is first of all Love.

Eve was satisfied with an empty pleasure, a senseless and meaningless pleasure, and she perceived that, doing so, the malice had inevitably and irrevocably settled deeply into herself.

.

 

(to be continued)

 

Eve dream. Chapter two. Halved – part one

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Picture by Beth Hokhmah, found here

Eve dream first episode (Lilith part one)

Previous episode (Lilith part four)

2 Halved – part one

Everything came back to her memory with such vivid colour and such meticulous detail that the hypothesis of having been prey to a dream – or a terrifying nightmare – was not likely.

Nevertheless, it seemed paradoxical and impossible that it really happened as she remembered.

Did what she kept in such a richly detailed memory, therefore, really happen or was it carried out within the limits of a delirium, when heat and sleep and tiredness made her unconscious?

She analysed again what appeared to be the facts.

As much as she found herself alone now and how what happened appeared to be far-fetched and absurd, her Shadow had detached from her or, rather, had gone out of her. Coming from a remote and unknown recess of her deep self, for some incomprehensible and unknown reason, her Shadow had emerged into the light of day, had taken on its own shape and flesh and movements, rising to a life of its own, and had enjoyed her.

Eve now saw clearly that the dream had such real features that it really could not be merely relegated to the dream range; she ran her red tongue over her lips and she felt that they were still impregnated with the aroma of the fruit and that they retained – or seemed to retain – even traces of another aroma, the aroma of the other one.

She looked down at her chest and thought she saw some small yellow or black scales on it, but they quickly dissolved and dripped to the ground.

A phrase, still whispered by that voice which had however become low and hoarse, persistently overflowed in her mind, as though it wanted to trap her: “Why are you thinking about a nightmare? At night we do not have our own self, or, better: it is as if we did not own it. During the night, when we lose any control, we are not only one woman, but many women… during the night we are lost in our bright and inner splendour, which the light and the normality of the day reject. At night we are what we really are, free from any constriction and pleonastic components. The night we can really be what we are, which is not only light but also darkness. At night we can pretend to be and to dare everything. At night we have the true knowledge of good and evil, because we can look at them both, without trembling. The Shadow is part of you and there is nothing wrong with knowing it, admitting it, allowing it to be. To truly be yourself and not just a part of who you are meant to be, you need to welcome your dark side. You have to let her out, giving her your body. She must emerge from you so that you can truly express yourself and express your gifts, your beauty, your desire for love, your ability to give love.”

She was bewitched and at the same time terrified by that phrase, which seemed to be injected into her mind by others and certainly not by the Creator. She thought back to the Serpent, she saw him again. She almost seemed to touch him and she felt him cold, slimy, deadly. She shivered. She knew that in that sentence and in that presumed better awareness there was something out of tune, something wrong. Something perverse and hopelessly bad.

Finally, she recognized in those words the spell and the evil power of the Enemy and then her self-awareness became more strong-willed: she raised her arms to the blue sky, screaming desperately: No!

She had been duped.

She had certainly been duped.

Once again, the Enemy had imposed on sentient creatures, on herself, his own will and his own vision of the universe, weaving a plot of falsehood so captivating as to deceive, convince and pervert the Woman, dragging her into another life, into a second life, that is into a different and weird yet possible life; however, doing thus, he contradicted the reality or, better, he defined a new reality where he promised to the Woman emancipation from all obligations and laws. By designing, building and proposing an alternative reality made solely by right to pleasure, to powerful self-realization, to absolute freedom.

Yes: he promised the knowledge of good and evil.

The possibility to choose always and in any case, in spite of every possible link.

In spite of Love.

In spite of the truth.

She thought she heard that recommendation, that one recommendation with which the Creator placed the Woman and the Man in the garden, in the magnificent core of Eden: “Do not delude yourselves that you know Good and Evil according to yourselves, because otherwise your weakness it will lose you and you will become slaves of yourselves and your desires, losing your peace and hastening your death. In fact, you are not at the centre of the Uni-verse, whose everything points to Me and only to Me, the One who did it. Therefore, do not feed on the fruits of that tree, which also exists, because you would not be able to bear the consequences. That tree and its fruits are necessary to allow your freedom. But trust in Me, entrust Me, trust in My Love. In any case, whatever you do, I will respect your choice and your freedom, because I wanted you and I love you”.

.

 

(to be continued)

 

Today we fight

 

Aragorn

 

(…) my brothers, I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.

A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day.

An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day!

This day we fight!
By all that you hold dear on this good Earth (…)

Aragorn’s speech at the Black Gate,
from the movie “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

 

Well: last evening I watched again this beautiful movie.

I’m sorry: I must say that these words are not by J.R.R.Tolkien and we cannot find them into his book, but we can read in them some interesting expressions: brother, friend, fellowship, dear, good. And fight, of course.

Anyway these words describe our actual situation.
Each day we must fight against any evil power: first of all against our evil attitude. By all that we hold dear on this good Earth.

For our Love and for each we love.

And Aragorn uses “we”, not only “I”. We, brothers. We, friends. Our fellowship. Because “I” is simply nothing. Because “I” is without love.

In the same movie, in a similar situation, before a hopeless battle, King Theoden says:

(…) Ride now, ride now, ride! Ride for ruin and the world’s ending!
Death! Death! Death!

It’s really desperate and, in my opinion, without any sense. I cannot fight for death and ruin. I can and I must fight for Love and Good and Beauty. But not “I”: “we”. Toghether.

OK, I must admit it: I’m thinking of the Church.

 

Osmanthus

 

osmanto (2)-min

That one. JB.

 

I enjoy
both the lake and the scent that osmanthus
spreads around in the old garden’s evening
I enjoy gentle reds near the sunset
or when sky burns entirely in autumn

I enjoy
you at night, lying awake
when I feel lips and hands and your hair
touching me, shivering me, when I long
for you satisfy that love I feel

I enjoy.
There is beauty and good too in this world
that hides them between ugliness, profit
freezing them with so cold egotism

May Your lordship, my God, wake up us

 

October, 6th 2022

 

Italian version

 

Long enough

 

dalla tangenziale MI, 21-9-2011 (3)-min

Around Milan, JB. September, 21st 2011

 

When there’s rain on the grass, from the sky,
and I shiver and watch that dark grey
thinking of sun and summer and light

Long enough is a day
so that I lose myself

When, alone, I sit there waiting for
something new, something else, something that
could change finally me and my life

Long enough is an hour
so that I could get wrong

When, again, as a flash
sudden thought hits my mind
making thrill all my flesh and my skin

Long enough is a second
so that I could fall down

When, at last, I see this older me
looking for better, more
looking for reasons, sense

Long enough is my life
so that You can save me

 

September, 18th 2022

 

Thank you so much Lizzie for your suggestion!

 

Day of nothing

 

IMG_1313-min

There, some years ago. JB, summer 2016

 

Finally, here’s a day of none, nothing
after a peaceful night made to sleep.
My head empties, and my body wilts
with each of its so tired old muscles

Yesterday I lost words, cause my flesh
needed everything to go up and up
and then wild and fast jumping downhill
it found again strength and knowledge

Today I’m watching my day go by
like it was really and actual vacation.
I can take a book to read a novel
I still hope and wait that Something happens

 

Faé House, September, 3rd 2022

 

Italian version

A fresh wind

 

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A Wind-Beaten Tree, by Vincent van Gogh (pic found here)

 

 

A fresh wind now arises from there,
far from me, far from my usual home
It tells me about days fully blue
far from these suffocating warm times

A cold breeze drags the leaves on those trees
reaching me on my tired sad face
while I seat on my stony terrace
watching at long gone days of young girls

A sweet breeze sweeps my mind and my soul
overcoming my thin older skin:
a pale box I fill with evil, sins.
They make me defile our plain love

A fresh wind comes from your other world
it says about our love, about God
I can see both us there, both us pure
I can see both us new, happy and free

 

September, 1st 2022

 

My crow cries

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Pic found here

My crow cries like did Poe one once shouting
nevermore
even if everything always happens:
life and death, love and pain, hate and joy
run together

A gull flies printing its shadow fast
on this Earth where we stand up like dreaming
while I confuse to do, to be, sleeping,
to find shivers of love on my skin

Save me, oh!
Free me now, again, free me now Lord
watch at my ill poor weak troubled mind
see the flesh You gave me as weird gift…
Please consider how much I’m poor thing

Give me each thing I need, that is love,
that is knowledge to be safe, that’s peace

Castiglioncello, July, 6th 2022