JB: the new calla
In my garden the calla was yellow,
yet now purple it came back this year
and it’s larger, a bloom of tall leaves
with those spathes of violent flowers
Only few things are strictly coherent
with themselves and their substance
so that a lot goes changing so often.
Thus, the essence of facts can be fickle
I would like the world stable and pretty,
fitting to what I carry inside,
to the instances of meaning and peace,
to myself, poor collection of moments
I know that You are and rule everything
even the much I don’t understand.
Let me be where you call and want me
make me useful, not vain silly instinct
June, 27th 2021
Something soft, as grey mist
spreads across this small world
not like that red death mask
nor as black terror plague
sweetly it kills us now
I need eyes to watch in
I need hands to hold tight
I need friends to be close
I need love to be me
Something like a white pain
rides together with this
new weird virus and makes
mankind dull, forcing us
I need facts truly true
to be alive, to be far
from death innate in dreams
to be out
from that white without shape
Someone says that a man
resurrected by death
and He lives in his Church.
I decide to trust them
I need Christ who saves me
I need Him to change me
I need Him, to be me
those clear eyes
I met Him
With those hands
He bears me
in those friends
April, 17th 2021
Sorry for this bad photo, but it’s evening here
Blue primrose puzzled in climate trap
fought against frost and snow, still alive
in this rainy, gray and no cold day,
sharing colour as dark stifled smile
I’m like her in these so changing times
in this world I’m not able to know,
to understand as I did in the past.
In the winter sad garden I stay
Would you come again, frost of past days?
Would You come into me, to stay, God?
I’ve no bright colours, I’ve no green leaves.
In my winter sad garden I pray
February, 6th 2021
This is from my 2020 nativity scene
Now He comes. He will come. He is coming.
Oh! He is here.
He is everything I need, everything each of us needs.
He wants to be everything for everybody.
He is so, really so, really now, yet we are blind.
I ask him that my heart could know what my reason already knows, so that I culd live in peace.
I ask that also for my friends.
Merry Holy Christmas.
I’m sorry… I was not able to post this stuff last week end, as usual …
Fog erases each thing with its nothing
made by silence and moisture and grey
along a way that leads to new Christmas
to new facts, to new hopes, to new life
I drive my car and I look for trees,
for signs or something that have a sense
anything I can see, recognize
to solve troubles and doubts, to go on
I miss white and pure snow in this cold
of an alien, strange winter, unknown.
Out some virus is spreading pain, death
Come soon my Lord with your holy kingdom
December, 14th 2020
I’m my demon
I am evil, I spread
my day following wish that can’t give
me light or to turn to happy my time.
Thus my time runs away… toward what?
When I entered the water of life
there was beauty of black hairs and strength,
there were soft lips and eyes so clean, bright
grey and green. There was hope
Now I’m leaving this sea where we swim.
No more soft, this my body dries up
yet lust and will to make love grows up.
I’m my demon, that horrible bitch
Yesterday is no more, with no sense
except sin: I awaited that skin
cuddled my face and chest and down there…
Don’t’ let me alone with my bad thoughts
Don’t let me alone or I’ll be sin
Sunday, November, 8th 2020
Well … it’s Christmas.
Some days ago, my dear friend Kristine shared me a strange song. I thought that I’ll used my frienship for Kristine, what I think about her deepest emotions and wishes, and some words of that song to write my 2019 Christmas wishes. I did so. Thank you Kristine. Be happy like I am. God is born. God came and comes in our so poor flesh!
These are my best wishes for next Holy Christmas.
Now I’ve into my mind and into my ears a sweet and peaceful music: John Sebastian Bach’s Cantata BWV 147 “Jesus meine Freude” (Jesu, joy of man’s desiring).
I’ve into my deep all my darkness and all the night where i was on this Advent.
I wish Jesus be born. I know Jesus is born. I wish His light, His peace, His joy.
I wish all these good things also for all you.
Jesus, I need You
by Judy Barton on Christmas, 2019
When fog hides
any idea of each way
I’m alone into grey, where I stay
There no answer responds to my why
I’m my need, I don’t feed
my pale soul nor my mind.
I’m as hole
where I can’t see my joy.
I’m a homeless old bitch
I’m grass frost under birches
When each Sunday
stops to be the Lord’s day
I’m alone in a night without rest
there’s no one that responds to my why
You are my need, feed
my pale soul and my mind.
You fill my hole
bringing me peace and joy.
Be born and be my home: then I’ll switch
to green grass under birches
December, 20th-24th 2019
Art by Terrygold – “Terry – Riflessi sul nero n.17_001”
So my hands punish harshly my pride
chasing thoughts and sin where my effort
falls helplessly, tonight, dying silently,
lost in cold nothingness everywhere
I’m not able, I can’t by myself
I can’t avoid to fall more and more:
that’s disease of our being few things,
as men or women: as each creature
We are falling down, into the solstice
full of pagan memories and impulse.
I deny you for perverse desires
but You come anyway, Child and God
December, 1st 2019
Photo by Cherry Laithang
I’d wish tenderness, warmth
like soft flesh of a woman surrendering
moved as helpless gift.
My heart wanders at night, lost somewhere
This darkness devours and swallows
every passion, emotion and beauty.
Far away, far away I run into ill dreams
really to be not here. Please come soon
November, 30th 2019
Sometime my life is a crazy dream
where I see me so different from
myself as I am really, here,
while my days run forward I don’t know
Often I live into ill bad dreams
where my thoughts take up place of real things
and I try to be better with masks
indeed tributes to my narcissism
I would be better, I should be free
from my silly, so bad and false dreams.
I know whom I should be to be free.
Come soon, O Bone Jesu. Take me
November, 20th 2019