Picture by Beth Hokhmah, found here
2 Halved – part one
Everything came back to her memory with such vivid colour and such meticulous detail that the hypothesis of having been prey to a dream – or a terrifying nightmare – was not likely.
Nevertheless, it seemed paradoxical and impossible that it really happened as she remembered.
Did what she kept in such a richly detailed memory, therefore, really happen or was it carried out within the limits of a delirium, when heat and sleep and tiredness made her unconscious?
She analysed again what appeared to be the facts.
As much as she found herself alone now and how what happened appeared to be far-fetched and absurd, her Shadow had detached from her or, rather, had gone out of her. Coming from a remote and unknown recess of her deep self, for some incomprehensible and unknown reason, her Shadow had emerged into the light of day, had taken on its own shape and flesh and movements, rising to a life of its own, and had enjoyed her.
Eve now saw clearly that the dream had such real features that it really could not be merely relegated to the dream range; she ran her red tongue over her lips and she felt that they were still impregnated with the aroma of the fruit and that they retained – or seemed to retain – even traces of another aroma, the aroma of the other one.
She looked down at her chest and thought she saw some small yellow or black scales on it, but they quickly dissolved and dripped to the ground.
A phrase, still whispered by that voice which had however become low and hoarse, persistently overflowed in her mind, as though it wanted to trap her: “Why are you thinking about a nightmare? At night we do not have our own self, or, better: it is as if we did not own it. During the night, when we lose any control, we are not only one woman, but many women… during the night we are lost in our bright and inner splendour, which the light and the normality of the day reject. At night we are what we really are, free from any constriction and pleonastic components. The night we can really be what we are, which is not only light but also darkness. At night we can pretend to be and to dare everything. At night we have the true knowledge of good and evil, because we can look at them both, without trembling. The Shadow is part of you and there is nothing wrong with knowing it, admitting it, allowing it to be. To truly be yourself and not just a part of who you are meant to be, you need to welcome your dark side. You have to let her out, giving her your body. She must emerge from you so that you can truly express yourself and express your gifts, your beauty, your desire for love, your ability to give love.”
She was bewitched and at the same time terrified by that phrase, which seemed to be injected into her mind by others and certainly not by the Creator. She thought back to the Serpent, she saw him again. She almost seemed to touch him and she felt him cold, slimy, deadly. She shivered. She knew that in that sentence and in that presumed better awareness there was something out of tune, something wrong. Something perverse and hopelessly bad.
Finally, she recognized in those words the spell and the evil power of the Enemy and then her self-awareness became more strong-willed: she raised her arms to the blue sky, screaming desperately: No!
She had been duped.
She had certainly been duped.
Once again, the Enemy had imposed on sentient creatures, on herself, his own will and his own vision of the universe, weaving a plot of falsehood so captivating as to deceive, convince and pervert the Woman, dragging her into another life, into a second life, that is into a different and weird yet possible life; however, doing thus, he contradicted the reality or, better, he defined a new reality where he promised to the Woman emancipation from all obligations and laws. By designing, building and proposing an alternative reality made solely by right to pleasure, to powerful self-realization, to absolute freedom.
Yes: he promised the knowledge of good and evil.
The possibility to choose always and in any case, in spite of every possible link.
In spite of Love.
In spite of the truth.
She thought she heard that recommendation, that one recommendation with which the Creator placed the Woman and the Man in the garden, in the magnificent core of Eden: “Do not delude yourselves that you know Good and Evil according to yourselves, because otherwise your weakness it will lose you and you will become slaves of yourselves and your desires, losing your peace and hastening your death. In fact, you are not at the centre of the Uni-verse, whose everything points to Me and only to Me, the One who did it. Therefore, do not feed on the fruits of that tree, which also exists, because you would not be able to bear the consequences. That tree and its fruits are necessary to allow your freedom. But trust in Me, entrust Me, trust in My Love. In any case, whatever you do, I will respect your choice and your freedom, because I wanted you and I love you”.